It's that time of the year again which we Single Ladies and Lads dread. We'd much rather live (or die) through a Zombie Apocalypse than witness yet another "Valentine's Day" drama!
If you're reading this with an expectation to cope up with all the overflowing mushiness in the "Month of Love", all you need to do is follow these simple steps, and I assure you a Happy Singleton's 14th Feb to Remember!
- Post a hate-comment on every committed friend's cheesy V-Day update - on Facebook.
This Valentine's Day, let's give up on sugar coating; full power acidic tongue...err...fingers. Well, you get the point, don't you? *wink*
Don't get too abusive though - Change your Facebook DP / Cover picture to something which is absolutely grumpy-fied.
Say hello to our saviours - Grumpy Cat, Aunty Acid, there's just so much more.
Sarcasm to my rescue. *woot* - Stay home. Do Not Step Out. I repeat. DO NOT STEP OUT!
There's just too many offers for couples. None for us Singles. *Sigh... No one to "share the love" with, apparently. Could our fave brands BE more annoying? *Does the Chandler tone*
Wait a sec...can I bring my Mom to avail this? - If you're a movie buff, watch the mushiest one(s) being aired on TV all day and curse the lovey-dovey goo. In case the over-mushiness makes you too sick to keep yourself glues on, STEER CLEAR OFF Romedy Now! Try watching Set Max - Sooryavansham is surely gonna air at least once.
Oh wait. Sooryavansham too has its fair bit of romance... Ugh! Kay, high time we move on to the next step, where you need to...
Hello V-Day Schedule. Ugh! - Remember: DO NOT DRINK AN EXPRESSO. Remember the age-old saying "early to bed, early to rise, makes a man, healthy wealthy and wise"? Well, it's time to finally implement it. At least 25% of it. Hit the bed. End the day.
Leme catch some Z's... - Turn off the Socialite button for about a week before 14th Feb.
"Who's YOUR Valentine?" , "So, what big plans for 14th Feb?" , "Are you getting a date to Sid's V-Day party?" , "What's your guy like?"
You wouldn't wanna face the same questions once again this year, by every acquaintance who is celebrating the day with a Valentine, would you now?
Hello from the other side...
Food for thought: Everyday is Single People's Day. Why should we fret the one single day the committed get to celebrate? Besides, it's a leap year, so we get all 365 Days to celebrate our freedom this year. Pour out some wine (or, just get yourself a can of Coke), get under a blanket, put your TV on / connect to the Netflix app, and have a relaxed Sunday, all you Singlies out there!
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| Ba-Dum-Tss! |
